This is just a self reminder for the 40s me.
On the day you find your child(ren) is/are on their adolescence -- it's probably around their 16 or 17, I wish you still remember how hard it was to be on their age and how much tears you spent in silent, baby. And hey, they could be even more complicated than you were on your 17s.
Instead of being so stiff, gloomy and pathetic, you gotta try to be chillin and ask them out "How's life going out there? I'm feeling so old lately could you tell me how's life going out there, child? It seems fun yet so hard." "Why those people wearing this, saying that, doing this, and not doing that?" "Child you should check this new blablabla we gotta try it soon ok" and... "He looks cool.. she looks cute. What's his/her name? Tell me more!" "How he/she is doing? Are you guys still hanging out?"
"What's your main concern these days?"
Oh, but try to figure some thing first before you ask it out.
I write this merely because you won't have any idea what upcoming generation's issue is coming up into. Stop being so selfish and idealist, all you need to do is being open and chillin. If they still seal their mouth and heart toward you, there must be something wrong, and you are the one who have the responsibility to speak up first and comfort them. Comfort them in the way they want to be treated. Yes you're going to learn about every single theory of parenting, but you know what? There's only one ultimate key for being the best mother ever: You have to be their best friend. Their more-experienced-best friend. Let them experience their own failure, but don't ever let them face it all alone. It could be something about social life, love, college, passion, capability, inability, lack of knowledge of particular things, or anything.. There must be something that have hitten them so hard.
You absolutely won't have any idea what they have been hiding :)
I've read this somewhere before;
"Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were."
Now I'm telling you, you DON'T WANT to miss their that-something.
-The 17 years old me-